Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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