his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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