so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
