maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just invented taco cereal.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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