So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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