My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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