Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
