i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize