Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
