I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
