I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
