I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize