Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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