JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize