i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
birth control should be required to get into college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
