Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
