Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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