Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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