what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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