I want to make a zoo with you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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