idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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