We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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