His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do vagina's smell?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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