i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
