i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
