Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
