i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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