Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
