he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
