so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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