Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
