i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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