remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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