if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just pee around me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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