The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
