The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dignity is for republicans.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
