I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
