end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
