i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
