People in love make me want to vomit
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
