mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
