Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
