OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I AM VODKA MAN
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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