Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
