perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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