Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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