Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
