I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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