You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
