i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
