just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
