The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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