You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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