He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
