Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
