have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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