we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
