For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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