butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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