i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
