By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
