i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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