she looked like the before picture.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
