its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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