I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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