If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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