I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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