I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
