i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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