Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
