She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
