I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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